I’m here to tell you a story about how I learned to embrace my inner donkey.

When I was 16, I had a stroke.

One December day, I collapsed in the middle of choir practice for the upcoming Christmas cantata and woke up in the hospital, hooked up to IVs and my entire left side of my body weak.

The doctors told me that I was lucky to be alive. They also told me that it would take up to a year for me to walk again.

I was devastated. I was a top student, a choir singer, a budding pianist, and I had my whole life ahead of me. 

At first, I felt the injustice of it all.

How could this happen to me? Why now?

I desperately wanted to be top of the food chain.  An apex predator who was successful at everything and could do it all, but at what cost…

Maybe I didn’t want to see the signs that something was wrong.  For weeks, I had been getting more and more headaches, plus tingling sensations along the left side of my arm and leg. 

I just dismissed it as caffeine withdrawal and didn’t think twice of guzzling the coffee around the clock.  I was staying up until 3 am some mornings to get my schoolwork done. To top it off, I wasn’t eating much to lose weight (remember it was the 90’s so heroin chic was in).  

Good enough wasn’t good enough, I wanted to be the best.  I might not have been the most popular or prettiest gal, but at least I was smart.

I couldn’t imagine my life without my accomplishments.

But then, I realized that I had a choice.

I could either give up on my dreams and live a life of mediocrity, or I could learn to turn these limitations on their head and find a new way to succeed.

I chose the latter.

It wasn’t easy. I had to learn to be patient with myself, especially learning how to walk properly again and study.

And I had to learn to let go of the idea of being perfect (and from time to time, I still fall into this trap).

But over time, I started to see the benefits of being a donkey.

Donkeys are known for being stubborn and thought of as unintelligent (Thanks, Eeyore). But what people don’t realize is that donkeys are actually smart, resourceful, and resilient.

Unlike their horse cousins, donkeys don’t run away when they sense danger. They stand their ground and fight.

And donkeys don’t do things just because someone tells them to. They think for themselves and only do things that make sense to them.

These are all qualities that I’ve learned to appreciate since my stroke.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m still a driven person.

But now, I’m more focused on living a more balanced and experience-rich life than on achieving perfection.

Because I pride myself on being self-reliant, it’s tough to ask for help when I need it, but I recognize another set of eyes on a problem can enhance your perspective and help you see answers that you may never have considered.

As much as it pains me because I don’t like to disappoint others, I’m will say no to things that I don’t have the time or energy for.

And that is perfectly ok.

You’re honoring yourself when you do.

So, if you’re struggling with stress and anxiety over wanting to be perfect, I encourage you to embrace your inner donkey.

Don’t be afraid to be stubborn. Don’t be afraid to stand your ground. And don’t be afraid to think for yourself.

Nothing is worth sacrificing your health and well-being for.

Remember, in the grand scheme of things, a live donkey is better than a dead lion.